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Iyo abantu bagiye gushakana, hari ibyo baba bizeye kuzabona mu rushako rwabo, rimwe na rimwe bitajyanye n’ukuri mu buzima.
Nk’uko Fernando Zebala abitangaza mu gitabo yise Differents, Certes mais Inseparables, ngo ibyo umuntu aba yiteze kuzabona mu rushako iyo hatarimo gushyira mu gaciro bishobora kuba intandaro yo kubihirwa n’urushako.
Bimwe mu byo abantu bibwira iyo bagiye gushakana nk’uko bitangazwa na Fernando Zebala ni ibi bikurikira:
Urushako rw’indoto (marriage parfait)
Nk’uko abashakashatsi mu by’imibanire babigaragaje, kumva ko umuntu agiye kugira urushako rujyanye n’indoto ruzira amakemwa, ngo ni byo biri ku isonga mu gusenya ingo nyinshi
Ngo ibyo biterwa n’uko muri rusange nta muntu uzira amakemwa (parfait) ubaho, kimwe n’uko urushako ruhwanye n’indoto z’umuntu (marriage ideal) rutabaho.
Zebala avuga ko nta muntu n’umwe ushobora gushyingirwa n’umuntu wo mu ndoto ze, cyakora ngo umuntu ashobora gushyingirwa n’umuntu wenda kumera nk’uwo yifuza.
Ibi ngo iyo umuntu abimenye hakiri kare bituma anyurwa n’uwo bashakanye atiriwe amukeneraho ibyo yahoze yibwira azakenera ku wo bazashakana.
Urugo ruzira amakimbirane
Hari umubare utari muto w’abantu bashyingirwa bazi ko batazigera bagirana ikibazo na kimwe n’uwo barushinganye.
Nyamara, ngo mu mibanire y’umugabo n’umugore basangira byose buri munsi ngo ntibishoboka kwirinda amakimbirane, no kutagira ibyo batumvikanaho.
Nk’uko Zebala abyemeza, amakimbirane mu bashakanye aranakenewe ku rugero runaka kugira ngo umubano wabo ukure.
Abashakashatsi bagiye bagaragaza ko kugirana amakimbirane no kwiyunga kw’abashakanye ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo nyarwo, ko kandi ububabare bwayo ari ikiguzi buri bashakanye bagomba kwishyura mu gihe bakeneye ko umurunga ubahuza ukomera.
Urushako aho abashakanye bazahora bifuzana, urukundo rugurumana
Iyo umugabo n’umugore bakimenyana, urukundo rwabo ruba ruta ibishashi, bakumburana cyane, bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi n’ibindi.
Ibi bituma abantu bibeshya ko bizahoraho igihe cyose cy’urushako. Nyamara, ngo nyuma y’imyaka mike ibyo birashira. Ni byiza ko abakundana batashingira ku gushimishanya mu mibonano mpuzabitsina nk’ikintu kibahuza.
Zebala avuga ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari ngombwa, ariko igomba gushingira ku rukundo rutagize icyo rutegereje (amour inconditionnel) hagati y’umugabo n’umugore.
Urugo aho abashakanye bahuza byose
Hari abantu benshi bashakana bashingiye ko ngo bafite ibintu byinshi bahuje. Inyigo zagaragaje ko guhuza byonyine bidahagije, kuko kunyurwa mu rushako bishingiye ahanini n’uburyo abashakanye babasha gukemura amakimbirane bafitanye.
Inyigo zagaragaje ko icyitwa “kudahuza” mu bashakanye cyangwa mu bakundana kitabaho ahubwo habaho kumva ibintu nabi n’amakosa bishobora gukosorwa mu gihe hari ubushake bwa babiri.
Urushako aho umuntu adahinduka
Uku kwibeshya gushingira ku kwizera ko umuntu yabona urushako ruzira amakemwa.
Iyo umuntu yizeye ko yabonye umugabo cyangwa umugore wo mu ndoto, atangira no kwishyiramo ko atazahinduka, ibintu bidashoboka mu buzima busanzwe.
Icyo gihe iyo umwe mu bashakanye agize impinduka, usanga babwirana bati “Warahindutse, ntukiri umugore/umugabo nakunze mu myaka runaka ishize.”
Icyo gihe umuntu aba yirengagiza ko uko igihe gishira ari na ko haza impinduka mu buryo butandukanye. Muri rusange umuntu arahinduka, kandi uko ahindutse n’uburyo yitwara mu rushako birahinduka.
Ngo izi mpinduka ziba ku muntu kandi ni nziza, kuko yaba mu bashakanye no mu buzima muri rusange kutagira impinduka bisobanuye gupfa.