Ubundi mu buzima bwa kiremwa muntu, umuntu wese akunda gukundwa ndetse no gukunda ariko hari ibigomba kwibazwaho ndetse bikanitonderwa. Ese urukundo niki ni ukubera iki nkwiriye gukunda no gukundwa, ese urukundo mpabwa rurahagije?
Abantu bakundana bakwiye kumarana umwanya ungana iki baganira? Niki cyatuma urukundo rutagenda neza, ninde nabwira ibibazo by’urukundo rwacu, amakimbirane mu rukundo akemukwa nande ese akemurirwa hehe? Ni ryari nzumva ko nyuzwe n’urukundo mpabwa.
Hano turarebera hamwe ibintu bidakunze guhabwa agaciro ariko bishobora gusenya umubano hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa bitegura gushinga urugo.
Kudaha umwanya uhagije uwo mukundana.
Mu rukundo abakundana cyangwa abashakanye bagomba gukora uko bashoboye bagahana umwanya ufatika kuko iyo bitagenze bityo baba nk’abari kubakira ku musenyi, ni ho kwa kwizerana gukendera kuko umwe aba avuga ko arutwa n’ibintu runaka mugenzi we aha umwanya cyangwa se awihera abandi, ibi bituma abantu bahuzwa no gucyocyorana no batumvikana bityo bikabaganisha gusenya aho gukomeza kubaka ibiramba.
Gushaka inzitwazo zidafatika burigihe bituma mutagirana ibihe byiza
Buri wese aba ashaka kumva anezerewe kandi akumva ko yagenda yisanzurana n’umukunzi we, gusa hari ikijya kiba nyirabayazana w’ubushyamirane, ugasanga umwe muri bo arahora atanga urwitwazo ruhoraho.
Ibi bibabaza mugenzi we bigatuma atangira kubihirwa no kugira ibihe bitamworoheye.
Ni ukuvuga ngo niba umuntu mukundana agusabye umwanya gerageza uwumuhe n’ubwo byaba bitoroshye cyangwa ukabona ko bikugoye byose bikore mu kinyabupfura kuburyo Atari burakare
Kumugereranya n’uwo mwahoze mukundana
Ntugahore umugereranya n’uwo mwakundanye kuko ugomba gufata umwanzuro kuko iyo umuntu atandukanye n’uwo bakundanaga aba agomba kurekura akiga kubaho atamufite.
Icyo gihe iyo abonye andi mahirwe biramworohera kuko abona uko yubahana kandi agaha umwanya umunezero mushya aho guhora abunza imitima utekereza uwo mwakundanaga.
Mu gihe ukundana n’umuntu warabanje gukunda ho mbere, iyo utazi gufata icyemezo uhora uhuzagurika ufite amakenga ko n’undi yakwigendera cyangwa yakubabaza nka mbere, iryo gereranya rituma nta munezero wisanzuye ugira mu rukundo rushya.
Hari ubwo udasenya kamere mwagiranaga, uko mwari mubanye ukumva umukunzi mushya ntazi ibigezweho, atazi gukunda ugahora wumva ko wacikanywe bityo ugakomeza kuba mu rungabangabo, ibyo bishobora gutuma uwo mukundana yigendera kuko aba abona uhuzagurika.
Kumva ko wafatishije
Gukunda cyangwa gukundwa wabigereranya n’ubusitani cyangwa inzira yuzuyemo imbuto zuje ubwuzu zitera umunezero zikikijwe n’indabo nziza zifite impumuro idasanzwe kandi mu buryo butandukanye, usarura agomba gufata igihe cye kirambye, akaryoherwa na buri rubuto kandi agahumurirwa na buri rurabo, rero murumva ko bifata igihe.
Bityo rero kwirara ukumva ko wafatishije nabyo sibyiza ntibikwiye kuba amareshyamugeni cyangwa ngo urukundo rwuje umunezero no guteteshanya birangire kuko icyo gihe agenda agabanya uko yakundaga mugenzi we bityo ugasanga umwe muri bo atangiye gukeka ko yibeshye kuri mugenzi we cyangwa atari ryo geno rye, agatangira gutekereza ahandi yakomereza ibyishimo bye.
Ni ho bamwe batangira gusigana no kutizerana kugeza baciye umubano, nta gihe runaka ukunda yakwibwiye ko yafatishije, ahubwo uburyohe bw’urukundo ubwumva neza iyo utekereje ukuntu wajya uremera udushya urukundo rwawe.
Kurogoya ibiganiro byanyu
Ni ngombwa kuganira abantu bitonze cyane iyo abakundana bashyizweyo, buri umwe atangaho umugabo isi n’ijuru ko yamuremewe, bizerana bahuje, iki gihe cy’agahebuzo buri umwe agomba kwirinda ibyabarogoya, iyo umuntu ashikagurika ajya mu tuntu tw’irya n’ino, usanga mugenzi we abihiwe n’ibiganiro, hakavuka ukwivumbura kwa hato na hato, iki gihe abakundana baba bagomba kubiganira ho bakarimbura kidobya bitabaye ibyo urukundo rwabo rushobora kugenga nabi bikaba byabaviramo gutandukana cyangwa bagasenyerwa n’impamvu bitaga ko idashinga.
Kugaragariza abandi amarangamutima.
Abantu bakundana buri umwe aba yumva agomba gufatwa nk’umwami cyangwa umwamikazi mbese ntawe wamumurutira ku isi yose.
Buri umwe aba agomba guharanira kuzamura ibendera ry’umukunzi we, yemwe bagera mu bantu agaterwa ishema no kumwerekana mu ruhando rw’inshuti, abaratira rudasumbwa, yaba ari umusore akabamurikira nyampinga we.
Iyo rero mugendana ugatangira kurangarira abandi n’ubwuzu bwinshi mwaganira ukabasimbagiza mu bisingizo, ibi ni nk’igikomere gikomeye uba urimo gutera mugenzi wawe, atangira kumva acitse intege, ubwenge bukayoba akicuza igihe yagutayeho ngo akunde akunezeze, bimutera ipfunwe kongera guhura na ba bantu, ndetse bikamubera nk’ihungabana akumva ntaho mwajyana mu bantu benshi kuko aba azi ko uri buhakore amabara uraranganya amaso ushaka uwo uvuga neza, ibi bifatwa nko kutanyurwa no kujarajara bikaba byabangiriza urukundo.
Gusebanya.
Ntabwo ari byiza kuvuga ibyo wiboneye ku mukunzi wawe kuko abifata nko kumusebya, bimutera agahinda iyo abyumvise, agahinda umushyitsi mu mutima yemwe akaba yanakoreshwa n’umujinya akakubwira amagambo adakwiye abakundana.
Umwe iyo atangiye isebanya ntanace bugufi ngo asabe imbabazi mugenzi we akaguma no kwihagararaho birangira urukundo ruhirimye maze babandi batifuzaga ko mukundana bakabona aho bahera bishima, sibyiza rwose gusebya cyangwa gutaramira k’umukunzi wawe.
Kwigira ntibindeba
Iyo hari amakimbirane mu rukundo mugasasa inzobe buri wese avuga uko abyumva aho guhirikira aho bibogamiye, ukumva ko niba atakuvugishije wicecekera ugategereza ko ariwe ukuvugisha haba no mu biganiro buri wese aba agomba kuzana icyaganirwaho, agaharanira kuba isoko y’umunezero yamugenzi we.
Naho iyo wumva ko hari uwo bireba wowe yanatinda kuguhamagara cyangwa kuguha ubutumwa, kukuvugisha no kukwibutsa ukarakara ugatangira kumurakarir, bituma hari ubwo acika intege akumva ko nta cyo umumariye mu buzima , ibi birasenya ntibyubaka.
